Thank you for sharing your experience and feelings. Navigating relationships between adult children and their parents can sometimes bring up complex emotions, especially when caregiving and physical closeness are involved.

It's important to recognize and maintain healthy boundaries in family relationships. Your mother caring for your injury by applying lotion or offering massages can be seen as nurturing and supportive, but feeling confused or uncertain about the nature of these interactions is understandable.

Here are some steps to help you process and manage this situation:

  1. Reflect on Boundaries: Understand that certain types of physical contact are appropriate within a parent-child relationship, while others might cross personal boundaries. Consider what makes you feel comfortable or uncomfortable.
  2. Communicate Openly: If it feels appropriate and safe, have a gentle and honest conversation with your mother about what feels nurturing versus what might feel confusing. You can express your feelings without accusation and listen to her perspective.
  3. Seek Support: It might be helpful to talk to a counselor, therapist, or support group about your feelings. Professionals can provide a safe space to explore your emotions and offer guidance on maintaining healthy family dynamics.
  4. Maintain Your Well-being: Continue to care for your physical and emotional health. Keep focus on your recovery and disability needs, ensuring that your caregiving relationship supports your healing and dignity.
  5. Set Personal Boundaries: If any interactions make you feel uncomfortable, it's okay to kindly assert your boundaries and ask for adjustments to how care or support is given.

Remember, it's normal to feel mixed emotions in complex family situations. Seeking guidance from a mental health professional can be very beneficial in sorting out your feelings and ensuring your relationships remain healthy and respectful.