Thank you for sharing your feelings and experiences. It's understandable that living with your mother and providing or receiving care can bring up complicated emotions, especially during challenging times like illness or disability.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that feelings of embarrassment or confusion in intimate or vulnerable situations with a parent are natural. Family relationships, even between adult children and parents, have boundaries meant to protect emotional well-being and respect personal dignity.

Here are a few key points to consider:

• Maintaining Boundaries: Even when caregiving requires physical contact, such as massages or assistance with injuries, maintaining appropriate boundaries is critical. This helps avoid misunderstandings and uncomfortable feelings.
• Recognizing Emotions: Feeling aroused, embarrassed, or confused can happen, but it is important to understand these feelings as separate from the nature of your relationship with your mother. Emotions do not necessarily reflect your or her intentions.
• Privacy and Space: When possible, try to establish private time and space for both you and your mother where you can each feel comfortable and respected, minimizing situations that can be confusing.
• Seeking Support: It can be very helpful to talk with a mental health professional who can provide confidential support and guidance about navigating these complex feelings and boundaries.

Remember, care and affection between family members should always feel safe and respectful. If you have concerns or are unsure about feelings or behaviors, reaching out to a counselor or therapist can help you process these experiences and maintain a healthy family relationship.